A divorcing woman once asked me, “Won’t I get the entire house if I go to court and tell the judge what my husband did?” At another time a male client asked me, “Wouldn't the judge see that it is unfair that the State would make me pay that much child support to my ex-wife?”

Men and women who ask these questions have never appeared in divorce court. The evidence allowed in divorce court is limited to legal standards. The court decision is usually decided by a statute that is incomprehensible to those of you not versed in “the law.” The goals of the judge often differ radically from yours.

The reality of a divorce court trial is that most litigants walk out of the courtroom feeling as if they have just been run over by a truck. The winner often finds his or her enthusiasm dampened by the warning they hear from their lawyer to prepare for the next legal round, when their soon-to-be-ex-spouse will appeal the judge’s decision. An appeal means another trial, more money, and, of course, the emotional trauma that seems to have no end.

Mediation offers a common-sense, less expensive and less traumatic way to reach the best divorce settlement possible.